The Best $35 You’ve Ever Spent . . .

Written by Phoebe . . . For starters, just know that I am a real person with real emotions.  I work really hard to keep a positive attitude, despite my circumstances.  However, I need to say this.  I am sick and tired of whiners during this COVID-19 pandemic.  “Oh, I am stuck at home.  Oh, I can’t go to work.  Oh, I can’t go to the movies.  Oh, I can’t go to school.  Oh, I can’t go to church.  The park.  The gym.  The list goes on.  This is like being in prison.”

And my reply?  “Boo-hoo.”  I am sick to death of hearing it.  Come on, peeps.  Life IS hard due to the virus.  But you know what else is hard?  Living ON or WITH someone on the registry.  People are now getting a small taste of what it is like to live by the laws of the registry.

This little pandemic, not to disregard the severity of it, will pass.  It will.  The effects of the registry will not pass.  Let’s compare – maybe you lost a job due to the virus outbreak.  Many people on the registry are continually denied jobs, and not for lack of trying but simply because of their label.  Maybe you say you have to watch church on Facebook because you can’t attend right now.  Well, Registrants can’t use Facebook.  Nor can they attend church in many states.  Your park is closed and you can’t run your trail?  Guess what?  Neither can registrants.  Your library is closed?  Registrants can’t go anyway, and yes – they can read.  <Insert the sarcasm.  I am feeling snarky today.>

I honestly have self-diagnosed myself with PTSD after living through the effects this registry puts on families.  Every step we take is calculated.  It is much more than “should I wear a mask to the store and use my hand sanitizer.”  Again, these things are critically important right now, but so is my life and my well-being.  So is the life of my family.  So is the life of every other registrant out there trying to stay sane despite laws that work extremely hard to tear you apart.  Life on the registry is a 30 year or longer “quarantine sentence.”  So pardon me if I don’t take kindly to the whining that Walmart closed early or you have to order your toilet paper from Amazon.  Your life will soon be back to some kind of normal.  Mine, not so much.

And you know what else?  People seem scared to interact with a registrant, as if they will catch “the virus.”  Yes, registrants are ostracized from the rest of the world and it is the very laws that set it up to be this way.  This is why we need voices.  We know that squeaky wheels get the oil.  Why aren’t registrants and family and friends of registrants being squeaky right now?  IT. IS. TIME.

We are in a day and age where the talks of equality are bubbling to the surface.  I hope we all remember that humans are real people with flaws.  No matter their age, gender, race, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, or registry status, we are all humans.  Please don’t make this turmoil we are experiencing be about you.  Don’t sing the “oh woe is me” song.  Take this opportunity to value people.  All people.  Including those who are reformed registrants.  Give second chances.  Show compassion.  Experience forgiveness.  Resist making assumptions that all people are guilty.

I know, I know.  I am not feeling quite so positive right now.  This is actually why I write these blogs – to heal my wounds.  I am whining now, but I’ll be over this soon. I am the very thing I am annoyed by – a whiner.  Okay, whining is officially over.

It is time to be inspired for change.  It is time to voice your concerns over the registry.  It is time we work together.  NARSOL is hosting a VIRTUAL webcast this weekend to replace the annual conference and we need you.  Everything is different this year.  We’ve never had a virtual webcast like this, and we still need people to register.  Sit in the comfort and privacy of your home and listen to influential people with great knowledge educate us on how to be change agents against these laws.  I challenge you.  It will be the best $35 you’ve ever spent.

4 thoughts on “The Best $35 You’ve Ever Spent . . .

  • April 5, 2022 at 8:30 am

    I love this article because I agree with it. People these days want to whine about what is and isn’t fair or make excuses because of covid but they are so wrapped up in themselves that it takes away real humanity that is slowly dwindling in society. I’ll admit, before the experiences my family has faced the last two years, I was pretty judgemental. Now, I have learned not to judge anyone for any reason. I hate it took a this type of thing to happen to open my ears, mind and heart but I feel it is now for a bigger cause. I’m glad NCSORL letter came in the mail so I can find a way to help and work toward change on the behalf of all registered SO’s. And do you know, now that it’s hit home, I’ve learned that I actually know more people on the registry than I knew of. As stated, we are all humans with real flaws. One doesn’t take precedence over the other. We must listen and be heard. No, there will not be change overnight and it may not happen in 5 or even ten years, but the more knowledge and experience we can spread to others to join (and dedicate themselves) to this cause, the bigger chance of changes to come in the future. Much love to all! Stand strong!

    • April 6, 2022 at 6:34 pm

      Thanks, Billie! It’s good to have you on board.

  • September 25, 2020 at 11:05 am

    I hear and understand everything you are saying. It is crazy how people are judged without taking the time to find out the circumstances. There are so many things wrong with the registry and the perception for registrants and their families -primarily housing and employment. It appears to get harder each year. If anyone knows of any places in wake county that are willing to rent to or hire, I would gladly appreciate it.

    Thank You

  • September 11, 2020 at 7:41 pm

    Your organization sounds interesting… I’m not very optimistic though I’ve had very similar experience as everybody else on the registry it’s horrible It’s inhumane, it’ Cruel. And from my experience it doesn’t help very much And probly not at all. But it certainly makes people very angry and it stopped a lot of people and a lot of families from having a life. So Please do what you can !!!!I really appreciate it another North Carolina person suffering On the registry


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *